


security blanket

by fraisedesbois



Category: Dynasty (TV 2017)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Family Fluff, Fluff, Motherhood, Original Character(s), firby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:35:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26739694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraisedesbois/pseuds/fraisedesbois
Summary: There she was now, all alone, thousands of miles away from her family and everything that felt like home. As it turned out, she didn’t like that very much.
Relationships: Kirby Anders & Fallon Carrington, Kirby Anders/Fallon Carrington
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22
Collections: Pillow





	security blanket

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set in the same universe as my 'hold me by the heart' fic. This is a glimpse into firby's future.
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH TO AMANDA FOR BETA READING!!

Kirby was tossing and turning in her hotel bed. She had been trying to sleep for a while, forcing herself to keep her eyes closed and repressing a strong desire to just get up and turn the tv back on. She usually was a good sleeper, but then again she usually didn’t sleep alone in a hotel room. She liked her own bed, preferably with her wife in it. She liked the familiar feeling of falling asleep in bed sheets that smelled like her favorite laundry detergent, the same one that she used to wash her daughter’s clothes and blankets. She liked the familiar feeling of falling asleep lying on her side, with her knees up to her chest, one arm under the pillow, and Fallon’s arms around her, holding her. She liked hearing Fallon’s breathing grow quiet and steady as she always fell asleep first. She liked feeling her breath on the back of her neck and listening to Fallon moan a little in her sleep as she was probably dreaming big dreams of herself, running the world, as she should. Sure, she did sometimes have to sleep alone whenever her wife had to go away for a business trip now and then, but coincidentally those were the same times as she usually would let her daughter sleep in their bed without trying to convince her to sleep in her own room first. There she was now, all alone, thousands of miles away from her family and everything that felt like home. As it turned out, she didn’t like that very much.

Kirby gave herself a few more minutes. If she could just shut her brain up for a moment, maybe she wouldn’t feel so agitated and maybe she could just drift off to the land of dreams… 

She was still trying hard when she realised that she was clenching her jaw and holding onto the pillow a little too tight. She suddenly relaxed her entire body and opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling. The entire room was dark, she could barely see anything. She sat up, feeling a little disoriented, and reached out for her cellphone on the bedside table. The screen was so bright she dramatically covered her face with her free hand and whined. She almost expected to hear Fallon making fun of her and when the teasing didn’t come Kirby felt her chest grow tight.  It was 1am. She counted on her fingers what time it was back home in Atlanta. She remembered Fallon had told her that she would be six hours ahead of them while in Europe. It was only 7pm on the East coast. Kirby sighed. How badly she wanted to be home right at this moment. She felt sad for a quick second, but as soon as she felt it coming she caught herself and shook the feeling off.

“No,” she said out loud. “We’re not doing this. Nope.”

She shook her head lightly and went to look at her texts. A smile immediately appeared on her face as she read a couple of the messages she had missed while trying to sleep. Fallon had sent her an update. It was short but kind of sweet, in a Fallon kind of way. 

“We’ve only had one meltdown so far. We’re going to survive. Enjoy your trip, don’t worry about us!” 

It was immediately followed by a photo of an adorable redheaded little girl. She had a big smile on her face, sitting at the dinner table. Kirby laughed when she noticed there was pasta all over the floor and on their fancy wood table. She zoomed in on the photo and there was pasta sauce on her daughter’s cheeks and forehead and in her hair. It looked like one big hell of a mess and just like that, she was glad to be away and not be the one having to clean up. She zoomed in again on her daughter’s happy face and she let the bittersweet feeling take over her. She was relieved that her baby seemed to be doing okay without her, but she missed her so much it was unbearable. She just wanted to pick her up and sit her on her hip while her fingers gently ran through her soft baby hair. Objectively, at nearly four years old, she wasn’t much of a baby anymore, but she still had that sweet baby smell and although she was already in her little miss independent phase, refusing snuggle times with her moms and running away from kisses during the day, night time was usually a totally different story. Kirby loved their night routine at home. She loved bathtime, even if it meant ending up with wet clothes and messy hair and back pains. More than anything, she loved storytime. That was Fallon’s time to shine. Kirby loved standing in the door frame of their daughter’s room, listening to her wife read a story and make up different voices. Funny voices, scary voices, all the voices you could think of… It almost made her laugh and entertained her more than it did their toddler. Storytime made her fall in love with Fallon a little deeper every night. It was usually followed by a lullaby or the cover of a song as per requested by the little girl. Lately, she was really into Moana, so Fallon had to sing You’re Welcome in The Rock’s voice a lot. Surprisingly, she was really good at it. 

Kirby held her phone to her chest. She couldn’t miss her girls more if she tried. It now felt like her entire body was in pain from being so far away from them. What was she thinking coming all the way to Europe without them? She jumped out of the bed she was still sitting on and ran to the window. She opened it and pulled her head outside to take a deep breath. Looking at the view of the city in front of her, she just felt upset. As exciting as it was to be abroad, she hated how foreign everything felt and she couldn’t stop thinking about home. It didn’t matter that she had already visited Paris enough times to not feel like a complete stranger, it wasn’t where she wanted to be right now. She needed Fallon and she needed her now.  Without really thinking, Kirby walked back to the bed she had just left and picked up her phone again. She read the second text Fallon had sent earlier.  _ “We miss you and we love you.”  _ The message was followed by a bunch of emojis. A purple heart, a turtle, a tomato, two alien faces, and a Christmas tree. Kirby knew it wasn’t Fallon’s doing. She started typing a reply, but quickly restrained herself and instead clicked on her wife’s contact photo and let her finger slip on the FaceTime option. Fallon didn’t even let her phone ring more than twice before she picked up.

“Kirby?” Fallon’s voice came through before the camera was turned on.

“Hi!” Kirby nearly screamed. She had never felt so happy to hear the other woman’s voice. Fallon appeared on the screen and Kirby felt her eyes get teary. “Hi,” she repeated. 

“I can’t see you. It’s all black,” Fallon complained. “Why aren’t you asleep? I’m pretty sure you should be sleeping right now,” she said very matter-of-factly. 

Kirby realized she was still in the dark. She aggressively reached for the lamp on her nightstand, almost knocking it over, and turned it on with one hand, still holding her phone in the other. 

“Oh my God!” Fallon exclaimed. “Is everything okay?” She suddenly sounded worried, squinting at the screen. Kirby was confused for a second until she felt a tear roll down her cheek. She was crying. How stupid! She laughed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.  “I’m fine. I’m totally fine,” she tried to reassure her wife.

“Did something happen?” Fallon insisted.

“No, I just can’t sleep.” 

Kirby went on to explain how she had been tossing and turning in her bed, unable to reach the arms of Morpheus. She left out the part where she wanted to go home immediately to be with her girls. However, she didn’t need to say it for Fallon to sense it. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Kirby melted. Fallon could be pretty tough sometimes, even with her, but other times she was capable of so much softness, it was painful to even think about. She could tell by the tone of her voice and the look on her face that she was worrying. 

“I miss you,” Kirby said, her voice cracking.

There was a long silence as they both looked at each other. Fallon seemed to be thinking; meanwhile, Kirby was trying to hold back any more tears that threatened to come out. 

“I miss you too,” Fallon said lovingly. “We both miss you.”

“So she had a meltdown? Was it before or after the pasta disaster at dinner?”

Fallon’s face dropped dramatically. Now she looked like she was the one about to cry. Kirby giggled.

“Oh no, Kirbs,” Fallon shook her head slowly. “ _ She _ didn’t have a meltdown.  _ I _ did!” 

Kirby’s laughter grew louder and she had to put her free hand over her mouth to avoid waking up the entire floor.

“It took me double the time it usually takes us to give her a bath tonight. I’m never feeding your child anything cooked with tomato sauce again,” Fallon said, obviously traumatized by what she had just been through. “Or any sauce for that matter. She’ll eat her pasta plain from now on.”

“Oh, my child, huh?” Kirby raised an eyebrow.

“She did not get her messy eating habits from me,” Fallon shrugged. 

“Wow!” Kirby shook her head. “Okay, I see how it is.”

She was about to fire back when she heard soft giggles echoing through her phone. Her eyes lit up as she watched Fallon get attacked by a small redheaded human who had wrapped her tiny fingers around her mother's neck and was now begging for belly rubs. She didn’t even seem to notice that Fallon was on the phone, and she especially didn’t notice who her mom was on the phone with. 

“Ella, look who’s calling!” Fallon turned her screen to face the toddler who instantly stopped playing and slowly reached out for the phone.

“Mama?” It sounded like a question. She looked up at Fallon who was now off-screen and then back to the camera. “Mama!” She repeated with excitement.

“Hi, angel!” 

Kirby swore her heart had just exploded in her chest. She watched her little girl bring her mouth to the phone and try to kiss it. The screen went black but Kirby could hear Fallon trying to stop Ella from putting her lips all over her cellphone. They seemed to argue for a moment, then both mother and daughter appeared on the screen again.

“Okay, we’re on our way to read a story,” Fallon explained as she walked upstairs to the little girl’s room, obviously carrying the child in her arms. Ella held the phone.  Kirby watched them closely. The camera was moving so much that she felt like she was gonna get motion sickness. She didn’t care. Fallon quickly reached the bedroom and she sat Ella down on her bed, making her comfortable. Kirby looked attentively at their daughter’s favorite plushies make an appearance in front of the camera while Fallon talked about tonight’s book in the background. Ella was still holding the phone when she suddenly dropped it on the floor and all Kirby could see was the ceiling. 

“The witch story, mommy!” She sounded determined. “Do the voice!”

There were some excited handclaps and Kirby heard Fallon calmly tell their daughter to stop jumping on her bed. A moment later she was picking up the phone from the floor and Kirby noticed the sweetest smile on Fallon’s face. That was her special smile. The kind of smile she only reserved for her family and especially for Ella. 

“Staying with us for bedtime?” Fallon asked Kirby who instantly nodded. 

Fallon placed the phone on the bedside table and made sure Kirby could see them both. She waited for everyone to be quiet. It took a moment for the little girl to calm down as she kept wanting to talk to Kirby and jumping around but when she did, Fallon pulled her close, opened the book, and started reading. It was one of Ella’s favorite books. Fallon read the entire thing with different voices for each character and the three of them laughed and smiled at their favorite passages. 

“I’m not sleepy,” Ella said confidently, right when Fallon had just finished reading the last page. She crossed her arms and Kirby smiled at her pouty expression.

Fallon wrapped her arms around the little girl and kissed her on the head. “It’s time for bed, honey.”

“Sing!” The child ordered.

“What’s the magic word?” Fallon asked, frowning at the tone her daughter had just used. She quickly thought back to a few days ago when Anders had told them that Ella sounded so much like Fallon when she was the same age. “ _Dear God, help us_ _all!”_ was the first thought that came to her mind.

“Please, Mommy?” Ella tried, now sounding like the sweetest little angel. She had that adorable look on her face. The one Fallon and Kirby could never say no to. The one that looked a lot like Kirby’s whenever she tried to get her way with her wife. 

So of course, Fallon sang. By the time the song was over, Ella couldn’t stop yawning, making both of her mothers yawn with her. Kirby felt her eyelids grow heavier, but just like her daughter, she didn’t really want to go to bed. She especially didn’t want to hang up and go back to the empty and lonely hotel room.

“Goodnight, Mama,” Ella whispered when Fallon let her grab the phone. 

“Goodnight, Ella,” Kirby whispered back. “I love you so much.”

The little girl smiled, kissed the phone again despite Fallon’s earlier complaint, and then handed it back to her mom. Kirby watched her wife tuck their daughter in, handing her a blanket and a small plushie she had owned and carried with her everywhere since she was an infant. Fallon told Ella goodnight; gave her a few kisses and a tight hug. She gave Kirby a last look at their daughter before turning on her nightlight. She had just put her thumb in her mouth and she was snuggling with her blankie. Kirby’s chest grew tight again. Her sweet angel baby. 

How could she love anyone this much? How was it even possible to love such a tiny little human with so much intensity that she felt like she was both the strongest and the most vulnerable person at the same damn time? She had been asking herself the same question ever since Fallon had given birth. She had yet to get an answer. Motherhood was the most beautiful and powerful thing that had ever happened to her. Every trial and tribulation it took to get where they were now had been worth it and if given the opportunity, she would do it all over again. No question.

“You should try to sleep too,” Fallon suggested, bringing Kirby’s attention back to her. 

“I don’t want to,” Kirby said, sadly.

“Can you do me a favor?” Fallon asked. “Can you go look inside the large pocket at the front of your suitcase?” 

Kirby looked at her wife with a questioning expression on her face. 

“Just trust me, okay? Go look!”

She got up and walked a few steps to her suitcase that was lying open on the ground.

“Of course, you didn’t unpack,” Fallon commented, rolling her eyes.

“What’s the point of unpacking in a hotel?” Kirby asked, unbothered.

“Your clothes are going to be all wrinkled,” Fallon simply stated. “I don’t understand why you couldn’t just stay at the apartment. You would have been more comfortable there.” She sounded a little frustrated; maybe a little annoyed, even. 

“I’m staying at the Ritz, Fallon,” Kirby reminded her. “It can hardly get more comfortable than that.”

The brunette waved her hand to indicate that she was over it. “Are you looking at the front pocket yet?” She asked, impatient.

Kirby kneeled down on the floor and turned her suitcase around, trying to reach for the pocket her wife wanted her to look at so badly. 

“What did you put in there? I hope it’s a pony,” Kirby joked. She was about to add to it when she pulled out a soft light blue baby blanket from her suitcase and her heart skipped a beat.

“I thought you could use it,” the brunette explained before Kirby could say anything. “It’s one of the backup emergency ones so she won’t even know she’s missing it. Smell it.”

Kirby buried her face in the soft fabric and smiled. 

“It smells like her, doesn’t it?”

“Fallon,” Kirby started. “This is the most thoughtful thing you have ever done for me.”

“I love you,” Fallon said in a breath.

“I love you too,” Kirby replied. “So much,” she added. 

“I want you to have fun on your trip, Kirbs. It’s only a few days and you’ll be home so soon. Ella and I will be waiting for you, we both can’t wait to give you a hug.” Fallon paused and looked at her wife in silence. “I’m so proud of you, babe,” she finally said. 

“It’s not a big deal. It’s just—”

“The Paris Fashion Week?” Fallon interrupted. “It’s  _ definitely _ a big deal. Don’t try to make your accomplishments look smaller than they really are. I’m proud of you and I know our daughter is proud of her mama too.”

Kirby nodded and smiled tenderly at the camera before another yawn escaped her

“Please, go to bed!” Fallon begged.  Before jumping back into bed, Kirby reached for some of the pillows and placed them horizontally on the left side of the bed.

“What are you doing now?”

“Shhh! Give me a sec.”

“Did you just  _ shush _ me?” Fallon asked, feigning offense. 

Kirby turned the camera of her phone around to show her what she had been doing.

“I don’t get it.” 

“It’s you!” Kirby blurted out like it was obvious.

“Excuse me?”

“The pillows are supposed to be you,” she tried explaining.

“So, I’m… A pile of pillows?”

“Well, I don’t have anything else that could make it look like someone is sleeping next to me. Unless you want me to actually get someone to sleep next to me?” Kirby smirked.

“You’re not funny,” Fallon stated.

“I’m a little funny,” Kirby argued before getting herself back in bed. She held her phone close to her face and looked at her wife. She was pouting, just like their daughter had done earlier. “Thank you,” she said.

“For what?”

“For Ella’s blanket. And for believing in me.”

Fallon’s pouty expression faded and was replaced by a smile. 

“Goodnight, Fal.”

“Goodnight, Kirbs.”

Kirby blew her a kiss just before they hung up and she almost immediately went to text her.

_ “Talk to you tomorrow?” _

_ “Of course!” _ Fallon replied just as fast.

As the hotel room grew quiet again, Kirby settled into bed. She rolled on her side and pulled her knees up to her chest, as usual. She placed her daughter’s baby blanket near her face and with one arm she reached for one of the pillows next to her and she held it. It wasn’t the same as falling asleep in Fallon’s arms. It wasn’t even a little similar. Yet, she found some comfort, hugging her pretend wife made of pillows, replaying their last few words from their call in her mind. Soon, she’d be home with her girls. 

She drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face.


End file.
